its definitely taking some getting used to, the students from my previous school were all lds, which means i never heard any swearing, or crude language. then the first day at schs i heard the f word at least five times in the halls....i was experiencing major culture shock.
last tuesday i was having a rather awful day. i woke up late, and felt as if i were going to throw up every other second the entire day. i was in a terrible mood already, then on my way to biology i got stuck walking behind these kids whos values regarding language were polar opposite to mine. by the time i reached room 213 i was quite put out and ready to punch the next person that used such disgusting language. fifteen minutes into the class the teacher walked out to grab something from the science lab and the kid in front of me turned around and flipped off the kid next to me. i nearly blew up, but quickly returned to my notes with a roll of my eyes. the boy in front of me turned towards me and said in a polite voice, "hey, i wasn't flipping you off, i was flipping the kid next to you off." i looked up and with a voice filled with venom said, "i don't care who that was directed at, you need to grow up!" (granted i could have said that in a nicer way, but i didnt think of that until after) at this point he got extremely angry, threw his pen on his desk and said in an annoyingly loud voice, "i am grown up!! when i was little i didn't even know what that meant!!" i completely ignored him and his comment after that which made him even more angry, but i guess what i said had some effect on him because two days later he came into class turned around to face me and said "hailey, why do you hate me?" in a pathetic tone. i answered exasperatedly "i don't hate you mitch, i was just having a bad day and seeing you flip someone off didn't make it any better." he replied, "you do hate me!" to which I said even more exasperated, "no, I really don't!" finally after saying that back and forth he said in a repentant, meek tone, "well i'm really sorry i offended you. i won't do it again around you." he still acts like a stupid teenage boy, but now at least i don't have to see him flip people off or hear him swear at his "friends."
yesterday i went to our second football home game...it didn't end so well (the score was 49-7) but even though we lost we had a ton of fun. when we scored our one and only touchdown you would have thought we won first in state by the way the crowd was yelling. when it was first apparent that we weren't going to win we were all pretty upset...especially when we had the ball on the three yard line and it was intercepted by the other team and ran the length of the field for a wildcat touchdown... but by the end we all realized the absurdity of the situation and had a good time laughing instead of crying.
i was eating lunch with some people i met at school when one of their friends asked me, "did you just move here?" someone in the group replied for me, "no, shes always lived here, shes just unknown." i guess i will just have to learn how to enjoy being "unknown" around 1500 other teenagers, most of whom fall into the "known" category.
i'm still not completely used to going to public school, but when i get used to it, it won't be as big of an adventure as it is now. granted, i don't think it will ever stop being an adventure, but i will just have to enjoy the unfamiliarity and unknown world of high school while it lasts.
3 comments:
It sounds like your transition has been a little bit great and a little bit awful - I guess that's normal, but I'm sorry it's not ALL great!! ::hugs:: Totally different, of course, but Millie's transition to school has had both the great and the awful too! :)
I know very well the feeling of being "unknown"; that's how I was in high school. I mean... I had friends, and I think people generally knew who I was, but I was most definitely invisible a good portion of the time! I remember for most of my time at Snow Canyon, at lunch, I would just kind of roam from group to group, and often just be by myself. I remember that feeling of everyone else seeming connected to each other in various ways -- knowing each other, knowing where they fit it -- and I just kind of... floated. I don't think I ever really felt 'known' there. In some ways it is lonely, but in other ways it's kind of nice to fly under the radar and just do your own thing. :) (Of course my situation was different from yours, but I think I still know what you mean and I empathize!) :)
Hailey, you are an AWESOME, independent, strong, beautiful, smart girl and I know you're going to navigate this new terrain with all kinds of grace and humor. (And I'm not just saying that because I'm your sister. I'm old enough to KNOW these things, right?) ;)
LOVE YOU!!!!!
haha! unknown... that's such a funny way to put it. but honestly, i have to say that flying under the radar isn't such a bad thing. :) good for you, standing up for yourself! i'd say your on your way to making those to whom you are known respect you completely. i love you, and i'm glad the change hasn't been too bad! although it's had some ups and downs.
smile! :)
I am so glad you are not only surviving this new experience, you are flourishing...you are growing! When you feel overcome with everything around you there, keep the visual in your mind of your 5 older sisters, who have each become very strong women, and see all 6 of you with your arms linked and going forward together. THAT is strength. Many famous people lack respect and admiration from their own family and loved ones. YOU, on the other hand, HAVE respect and admiration from each of us already, so you don't need to become too well-known. You have more love and support right here in your own family than most people gain in a life-time! Go forward with strength that comes from LOVE and RESPECT, starting right here.
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